i want a house with no windows
and a thousand knives.
i want blood stained mattresses.
i want rust. i want
a gallon of gasoline.
and i want to ache.
and i want knots in
my throat. i want to
hold your hair when you
vomit between your legs
i want to wake up in my
makeup for the rest of my
life. i want an iron skewer
uder my eyelid. i want
bloody lips and swollen
eyes. i want my friends to
leave me. i want blood
hemorraging between
my brain and skull.
i want my teeth to rot, i want to never be loved again.